Prayer, Creativity & Faith

The freedom of true friendship

This post first appeared as part of the Sisterhood Ministries blog series, “Her Story.”

Senior year of high school

I walked around the corner to see my very best friend surrounded by a bunch of laughing girls. At lunch, they’d been talking about a party one of the girls was having—a party to which everyone except me was invited. Hurt and angry, I wrote a letter about it to my closest friend. That was the letter she was holding up for all of the girls to read.

At the end of that day, after hours sobbing in bathroom stalls, I approached her. “I tried to be nice to you,” she spat at me. Then she confirmed every one of my insecurities and fears—detailing my flaws: I wore the wrong clothes. Listened to the wrong music. Liked the wrong kind of boys. Was in the wrong activities for the wrong reasons (to meet boys). Nobody wanted me around, and she’d tried to be nice to me as long as she could—but she was done. For our entire senior year of high school, these girls with great social influence very pointedly ignored me. I cried a lot.

Recently a friend asked me to share my “freedom story”—how I came to a place of freedom in Christ. Not my conversion story, not my moment of finding God, but what led me to a place of freedom. I was stumped. Not because I’m oh-so-holy, but because, well, I kind of didn’t understand the question.

I mean, I could go on for days about all of my issues, questions, doubts, struggles, and so on. But still, the question had me stumped because to me…


I didn’t have to come to a place of understanding or work through deep issues to have this revealed to me.

When I began a true relationship with God as an adult, a huge part of the appeal was the instinctual, immediate understanding that God loved me. ME. Just the way I was. He didn’t care what clothes I wore or whether I was in the right clubs. He didn’t shun me because I was different than others. Instead, He made me in His image—therefore, there is nothing left to be ashamed of. I don’t have to work to try to fit in any longer. I fit because He said so. Because He loves me and called me. I accepted myself. I embraced my quirks and eccentricities—because, finally, I was free to be myself.

When I said yes to Jesus, He said yes to me. And I believed Him. #freedom #jesussetmefree #sayyestogod #wehaveafriendinjesus CLICK TO TWEET

By the time God became real to me, those girls in high school were the farthest thing from my mind. And yet, at times, I still feel that rejection and wonder if my friends are just pretending to like me.

In the years since then, I’ve accepted my part in that situation. Learned how to be genuine with others. Become a better friend. Made better friends—good, deep, true, loyal, genuinely loving friends. My life is good, and that hurt doesn’t have a hold on me any longer.

But lately, I’ve been thinking about how far God has brought me. I once struggled to find, make, and keep friends—but now I’m surrounded on all sides by loving and kind and generous sisters and friends. God placed me in this group of amazing women and stirred our collective desire to found a ministry centered on loving women as we strive to grow ever closer to God.


Maybe you haven’t found women with whom you can completely let down your guard. Perhaps you feel that no one will ever truly “get” you. The hardest part about this ministry is that we’re working hard to bring people together—but we cannot guarantee anything. We can’t promise you’ll find good, deep, true friends here, nor can we control anyone else’s behavior and words.

But we can share our stories and let you know that it is possible to open yourself up again, to take that risk, even after friends have hurt you. There are others out there—possibly even in our Facebook group—who want the same things you do. These friendships can be exciting and invigorating and such a huge blessing—but here’s the real truth:

Our focus has to be on God first. Because even the best of women and the best of intentions can fall short. But God never will. #friendship #sisterhood CLICK TO TWEET 

When He loves you, when He reveals who you are to Him and who He made you to be, you will find freedom like you never imagined—which, in turn, makes you free to love others in a way they never expected.

Yes, it is hard to trust people you don’t know.


Sister, friends may be the desire of your heart, but like all things, it has to begin with Him. Ask Him to fulfill your longings to grow close to Him, because He is more than enough. He promises us new life, and in that abundance, you may find that He answers your prayers through friends He places in your life.

Reflection Questions

Have you forgiven those who have hurt you in the past—and forgiven yourself for whatever part you played in those situations? In prayer, release your anger and resentment and hurt and ask God to forgive you and heal you.

What does “freedom” mean to you? What might it look like to live free in your friendships?

Next time you wish you had someone to talk to—to share in a celebration or counsel you in trouble or someone to simply listen—turn all of those feelings towards Jesus. He wants to be part of your life like that. Go to Him. He’s waiting.


Jesus, You modeled for us perfect friendship—love in spite of betrayal. You chose to view your followers’ failings with generosity and grace. Help me to love like that. Help me to be the kind of friend that my friends long for. Show me how to offer grace and forgiveness freely. To live in a place of love and freedom, with You by my side forevermore. Amen.

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