14 Things I Learned in 2014

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Emily Freeman is one of my favorite bloggers—if you don’t already know her, check out chattingatthesky.com. Every month, she does a “what I learned” post, and this week she’s posting her year-end roundup. I decided to join in the link-up. These are just a few of the things that I learned this last year, in no particular order.

1. God’s timing is [still, always] perfect, even if His answers seem upside down. My husband was let go from his job with no warning on New Year’s Eve (December 31, 2013). Right after that, on an already-planned-trip to NYC, we were “snowed out” and couldn’t get back into Indy. And then my workload  increased exponentially. Turns out, Tim and I make a pretty good team. While I closed myself in my office, he picked up Bobby from school, attended swim meets, and ran to the grocery. I was able to do a lot more work, and we managed to make COBRA insurance payments for a family of five for a whole year. Not fun, but we did it.

2. Even though we’re pretty self-sufficient, I miss Tim when he’s not around. When Tim started a new job after six months of being home, he spent most of ten weeks of training staying in an out-of-town hotel. I quickly discovered that it’s just not the same when he’s not here. Not just because I want the help—but because I know very few men who happily, willingly go to doctor’s appointments, band concerts, and to Goodwill to create costumes for various school projects—yet that’s exactly where Tim thrives. (Tip to newlyweds: pretend you don’t know how to sew, and maybe your husband will become the go-to person when someone needs a button replaced or a ripped seam repaired. Or an elaborate costume prepared the night before a big presentation.)

3. A mother’s job doesn’t cease just because her kids leave home. To be honest, I already knew this since Katie’s been in college in Iowa for a couple years. But when Anna went to Wisconsin, I got to discover it all over again. Sure, there’s less clutter around the house when they (and their stuff) move several hours away. And I confess, I like less clutter. A lot. But my role doesn’t really change all that much when they change locations. I just get to do motherly things from a long distance… Which reminds me that I need to do a better job of teaching, of delegating, of making them self-sufficient. At the same time, I’m grateful that they sometimes want to know what I think :-).

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4. I love design. But in my heart of hearts, I’m a writer first. I believe with all of my heart that God led me to this place. I don’t want to be anywhere else. This is what I want to do. And the more I learn (through some really amazing editors) and the more I write, the more I love it. So with that in mind…

5. I’m still brave enough to take a giant leap of faith. When my oldest child, Katie, was three months old, I left the security of regular employment to start my own business. I only had one client at the time and had no idea how I was gonna make it. But my husband had health insurance and we had a reasonable mortgage, so rather than leave my baby with someone I didn’t know, I went for it. I learned to type with a baby on my lap, and I discovered the mute button to hide toddler sounds during conference calls. There have been plenty of leaps along the way—office space outside the home, adding clients I wasn’t sure I was qualified for, resignations from others. I added writing and consulting to my list of services. But now, this latest leap is pretty scary. I (temporarily) resigned all new work from my largest client/co-consultant, knowing that I need the time for book promotion and writing. I’m not sure how I’ll make up for the lost income. Or if more work will be waiting when I’m ready. But I’ve taken Ray Bradbury’s advice: “Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.” I already jumped. Time to start building.

6. God manages to surprise me over and over and over again. Between the time last night when I wrote #5 and this afternoon, when I sat down to finish the post, I was notified that I’ll soon be receiving a big check I wasn’t expecting. I have to believe He will continue to provide—somehow, some way.

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7. The elusive writer’s “platform” really is more than just social media followers. I don’t have the number of followers my publisher would like, and I have a lot of work ahead of me. (I’m OK with that.) But I’ve seen how the past few years of meeting people has been valuable. I connected with other writers because I liked and admired them. I tried to be real and to be open, and I didn’t do it for personal gain. But now that I need book endorsements and places to guest post, I’m seeing the secondary benefits of some of these connections. For example, I attended a workshop with Elizabeth Berg a few years ago—and now one of her blurbs graces the front cover of my book!

8. Redecorating revives me. Mom always said two things about my propensity for change: 1) “Your room dimensions are probably a foot smaller now because of all the coats of paint on the walls.” And 2) “As much as you like to change things, it’s a miracle Tim’s been around as long as he has.” She may have been right. I’ve been on a kick to change things up a bit around here. New charcoal bedspread, rugs and curtains in the bedroom, brightened up with colorful throw pillows and an old family quilt. LOVE. And now I’ve moved the girls into the same room (they’re both in college and never home, so why not?), turned Katie’s old room into a den/library, and I’m changing our sunroom into a laundry room and pantry with built-in shelves and cubbies. New colors, new curtains. Pretty glass jars to hold popcorn and rice and pasta. Organization makes me so happy. (As does IKEA.)

9. Cooking is dangerous for my health. One day, as I obliviously reached above my head to remove a glass baking dish from the cabinet, the 9×12 pan shattered in my hand—little bits of sharp glass landing all over the kitchen, including on the bologna my son wanted me to fry for him. Glad I dodged that one, but unfortunately, I didn’t dodge the glass itself and cut my lip pretty badly. Now I’m on a quest for colorful ceramic baking dishes to replace all the psychotic glass that could, with no warning, self-destruct.

10. Coloring is beneficial for your health. I know there are studies to back this up, but I don’t know where they are. What I do know, though, is that when I was in Florida with Dad this summer for his chemo and radiation, he and I had lots of fun visiting Michael’s. He came back with a sketch pad and drawing pencils, and I got a coloring book. That trip to Michael’s was one of the most fun ones ever—even though Dad was sick. The whole time I was down there I kept thinking, “I forgot how much fun I have with Dad!” But now I remember. When we got back to the room after our art supply shopping spree, he did a few sketches. I think it made him feel a little more like himself. He got through treatment and got back to painting, and now, six months later, he has a new Best of Show ribbon in his studio from a show in September. And all of his recent tests have come back cancer-free.

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11. The year 2015 might actually, truly get here. When I signed with Tyndale, publication of my book was over two years out. I think people are as tired of asking “Is your book out yet?” as I am of saying, “Nope, not ‘til May of next year.” But now I can say, “Just a few more months!” Four, to be exact, as on January 1. Not that I’m giddy with excitement or anything.

12. OK, really, I’m giddy with excitement!

13. The light from an iPad, I’ve read, keeps you from ever reaching REM sleep or feeling rested. What this seems to tell me is that if I did NOT stay up late reading on my iPad, I’d never get up. As it is now, I’m asleep within five minutes and have crazy deep dreams. Also, I can sleep until noon if allowed (sadly, I’m not allowed very often). It seems I’m reverting to teenager-dom. Which leads me to this last lesson:

14. I will apparently have these braces on for the rest of my adult life. Or at least another year of it. I’m going with the idea that braces and occasional acne make me look much less than my 47 years of age. If I’m delusional, please don’t correct me.

So that’s my list of 14 things to wrap up this year. I probably learned a few more things, but if I did, I don’t remember them. I really, truly hope you’ll stick around here a while to see what comes in 2015. If my to-do list or the number of spread sheets in my writing folder is any indication, I have lots of things planned.

So tell me… where are your thoughts taking you as this year draws to a close?

5 Responses to “14 Things I Learned in 2014”

  1. […] Emily Freeman is one of my favorite bloggers—if you don’t already know her, check out chattingatthesky.com. Every month, she does …read more       […]

  2. Lauren says:

    I’ll definitely be checking out your book!!! Blessings to you in the coming year!

  3. Oh I’m so glad I happened by from Emily’s today. Your lessons learned are just words that stop my soul. Such great truths. Your book sounds amazing — gotta look that one up and put on my list for 2015. Blessings.

  4. Congrats on the imminent birth of your book! I can relate to much of what you’ve learned this year regarding transition and your gem of a husband. We are truly blessed.

  5. Gail Merriman says:

    Dear Friend, I learned that, as corny as it sounds, home is where the heart is. I learned that I am buoyed by beauty and sunshine and must have it every day.

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